dynamic elf

[in a car coming home from daycare]
Me: Natalie, when we get home, we have to go RIGHT inside today, no dawdling, because I need to use the bathroom pretty badly!
N (in a suuuuuper-sympathetic voice): Oh, mommy. I know, mommy. I know. It's hard, mommy, I know. But you'll pee and then we'll pick flowers and you'll be happy.


[this morning, as I banged my toe]
N (again with the super-sympathy): Oh! I'm so sorry, mommy! So, so sorry.
Me: Thank you, Natalie. I think I just need ibuprofen cream.
N: I'll get the ibuprofen cream!
Me: Er, I'm not sure you can reach it. Hang on. *gets it off a deliberately high shelf*
N: I'll put it on you, mommy.
Me: Okay! Put some on my toe right there. Put just a little bit on, like massage cream.
N: ...is this your booboo here?
Me: Yes, right there!
N: *meticulously applies tiny amounts*
Me: Thank you! That will help me feel better!
N: I RUBBED IT ALL IN!!!
Me: Yes you did!
N: I RUBBED IT ALL IN, MOMMY!
Me (unsure how to end this conversation): Natalie, could you put this away in the bathroom?
N: *takes tub of cream and runs off to find D*
N: Daddy! This is a little girl who's going to put away the massage cream in the bathroom CABINET!

Later, Sylvana (who seems currently fascinated by adjectives) was standing on a weight plate proudly proclaiming "DIS IS A YITTLE GIRL ON A VERY BIG FING!" and giggling. Apparently the third person is in vogue!