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May. 22nd, 2012 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moominmollyWhat do you do, when in conflict, to pull yourself out of your own head and see things from (the /an)other point of view?
What hinders you from doing this?
What hinders you from doing this?
moominmolly![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2012-05-23 03:01 pm (UTC)Deconstructing the pieces of the argument can totally be useful in helping you understand where the other person is coming from. What else do you do, and what is your personal work to get beyond the issues we all face in this area?
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Date: 2012-05-23 09:07 pm (UTC)Though I think it's also pertinent to your question in a sense, because my natural tendency is to want to deal with a situation as soon as possible - even though I've learned from experience that in the heat of the moment is quite often the worst time when things are charged and complicated enough that there's no way to get to the roots of the problem in a matter of minutes, or even hours.
So I guess if I've learned something analogous to what many of the other commenters are saying here, it's that taking time to step back and breathe is totally helpful, since pushing to continue the argument only ever makes it worse in such situations. And honestly, I am *much* better at being able to do that. Disengaging instantaneously is still difficult (because I can easily feel shut down/cut off), but taking a minute instead of an hour is a big improvement.
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Date: 2012-05-29 02:30 pm (UTC)This is the kind of work that everyone has to do, and that's hard for *everyone* - the reason it was on my mind last week is that I saw so many people having trouble with it, all around me. And yet, despite its importance, nobody ever talks about it. Maybe talking about our struggles really does lessen them, a bit - for me, knowing that everyone struggles with something makes it easier to acknowledge and overcome my own barriers, because I'm less ashamed and/or angry.
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Date: 2012-05-29 01:06 pm (UTC)http://peterbregman.com/do-you-know-what-you-are-feeling/
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Date: 2012-05-29 01:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-29 02:28 pm (UTC)